


Remember Everything

by Set_WingedWarrior



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Songfic, most of the characters are just mentionated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 12:32:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6374851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Set_WingedWarrior/pseuds/Set_WingedWarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the "choose Arcadia Bay" ending. </p>
<p>Max is alone with her memories and traumas from the other timelines. Without Chloe there to help her, it's hard to face and deal with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember Everything

**Author's Note:**

> That's the first fanfiction I ever wrote in English, and also my fist LiS fanfiction. It's inspired from the song [Remember Everything](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G8QItjTSDA) by Five Finger Death Punch, wich I suggest you to listen while you're reading.  
> I wanna thank [Badwolfdw5](http://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfdw5/pseuds/badwolfdw5) and [kittywu](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittywu/pseuds/Kittywu) for all the help, I love you guys <3  
> Well, that's it. Enjoy!

Max lays down on the ground of her room, curled up, while listening to one of Chloe’s CDs. It warmed her heart when Joyce gave her a lot of her stuff. “I think you’re the one who should keep them” she said. She doesn’t know if she actually meant that or if she just thought it would be easier for her to move on without having that stuff around.

Max doesn’t want to know.

So she’s in there, alone, listening punk songs and remembering events that never happened. Never in this reality.

She still can’t believe the universe put her in such an awful spot. Nobody should ever make a choice like that. Even if she knows she did the right thing, saving the bay and doing what Chloe herself asked her to… she feels like shit. She almost regrets her choice.

In this reality her Chloe died thinking nobody cared about her, feeling alone while Max was there, right there, waiting for that shot. She died without remember anything of what they have done together. How could she? Those things never happened in the first place. Max was trapped in those memories alone instead.

Nobody she could talk with, nobody able to understand. Anybody would think she’s crazy. Another realities? Rewind time? Bullshits.

She tried to forget, or at least not think about it, but it’s impossible. She has spent the last days constantly fighting her own mind, her own memories. It’s so exhausting. And useless. The only thing she got is a never-ending headache.

All of this was way too fucking heavy for her.

Max look down to her carpet. “Keep calm and carry on”

_I’d like to._

She forces herself to get up and at least lay on her bed, but her headache is too strong and she feels so _tired_. Her is body heavy, almost insensitive; it reminds her of when she was drugged and tied up in the Dark Room.

She suddenly panics at the memory. The way Jefferson looked at her, taking pictures and talking shit.

The way he killed Chloe right in front of her. And he was so pleased of himself telling her how she was the next.

She tries desperately to breathe again, throwing away those painful memories.

_This never happened this never happened this never happened_

But it isn’t true and she knows it. It _happened_. In another reality, but still happened. To her. To countless girls. She can clearly remember _everything._ And can’t tell anyone.

Max somehow manages to take deep breaths, and tries to calm down.

_Everything is over, none of this actually happened. So why is everything still persecuting me?_

She can’t stand this anymore. Not alone.

Somehow she gets up, goes to her desk and writes.

***

The bus ride isn’t particularly long, but it would’ve been surely ways shorter and pleasant with Chloe, in her truck. The bus stop is right at the base of the hill to the lighthouse.  
Her destination is the peak.

_“Dear mom and dad, I love you._  
_I’m sorry, I wasn’t good enough. Strong enough._  
_Please forgive me for what I’m about to do,_  
_and for all the bullshits I’ve done in my life.”_

She feels every step lighter, sure about her choice. She walks and walks that way she did countless times. Reached the highest spot, she takes herself a moment to smile, enjoying the amazing view of the sunset over the sea.

_“I know I’ve disappointed you, but I’m left here alone_  
_and I don’t have the strength to bear the weight of what did,_  
_and at the same time never happened to me._  
_But I remember everything. And it’s awful to me.”_

She can’t help but ask herself how a place this beautiful could hurt her so bad. But it doesn’t matter now.  
She’ll be like the sun soon.

_“Surely you can’t understand what I mean,_  
_but even only being able to write that_  
_and leave a tangible proof helps me a lot, so_  
_I don’t care if you all will think I’m crazy, or whatever.”_

She takes a deep breath, filling her lungs with fresh air.  
Yes, she’s doing the right thing.  
She turns around and sits to the same bench where Chloe and she talked that day, when everything started ~~,~~ and finished. The first day of the week that never was.

_“Warren, thanks for the support and friendship_  
_you always shown me. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay beside you_  
_the way you wanted to. But I want you to know that_  
_you made my school-life at Blackwell better. Thank you.”_

Why did this happened to her? Why would the Universe give her such a power not to use it? How could saving Chloe be wrong when that power was given to her exactly in the right moment to do it? Why doing what she did just to rewind again?

_“Dear Kate, please don’t blame me for my choice. And I know that’s_  
_really hypocrite from me asking you that, but be strong._  
_Whatever happens, you can overcome it and go on._  
_The way seems infinitely long when you’re alone, but you’re not.”_

Sure, she got to spend time with Chloe again. To discover the truth about Rachel Amber. To find out Jefferson’s psycho plan and stop him from doing his creepy stuff to other girls, and everything. But still.

_“You have people beside you who love you and_  
_can help you. Not like me: in fact I didn’t make it._  
_Maybe I’ll burn in Hell, or maybe not._  
_Pray for my soul.”_

Why couldn’t the Universe just let her be? She wouldn’t have those painful memories (‘cause at this point even the good ones became awful) and traumas, the awful choice between Chloe and the Bay, and it would’ve been easier to deal with her loss. Everything without that tornado to remind her _“oh you know, you fucked up”._ Making her go through all that shit was just cruel.

_“Don’t ask yourself if you could’ve help me, or_  
_change my fate, because you couldn’t._  
_The only one who could is already dead_  
_and I can’t change that._

_I could, but I can’t.”_

But everything’s going to be better soon.

_“Just like I can’t forget._  
_Memories flow in my mind endlessly._  
_I remember everything in details._  
_Everything.”_

She stands up, taking off her bag and placing it on the bench. She takes out her journal and then places it on it with care, the worthy one of an artist.

_“If I could only wonder ‘could’ve I change this end?’ and_  
_grant  myself the germ of doubt, maybe I could’ve make it._  
_But I can’t even ask myself that comforting question,_  
_because I already know the answer.”_

Satisfied of the final result, Max shift her attention on her necklace. She smiles, tenderly holding it in her hand like it was a delicate flower.

_“Right now the only thing I can and want_  
_is running away and reach her._  
_Please forgive me, I can’t forgive the world.”_

Then she holds it hard, turns to the sea again and lets herself fall in the void with a smile on her lips.

***

Only the afternoon of the day after it finally comes out what happened, and two policemen are the first to discover and read the letter and last goodbye of Maxine Caulfield.

_"_ _I’m sorry  
_ _Chloe comes first.”_


End file.
